The Day I forgot my urine bottle

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Have you ever walked into a room and immediately realised that you’re missing something, some piece of vital information that would instantly explain why the whole world seems to have gone insane? When I was at University I had that exact moment. I walked into my metabolic nutrition class to be met with the sight of 30 people sitting down with a half-full urine bottle in front of them.

Not one bottle for the whole class you understand, one bottle EACH.

I’d missed the last lecture, where the class had been instructed to collect their urine all day on the Sunday and bring it into class. No memo was sent to me, so I had no idea. Luckily I always carry a bottle of my own piss just in case (kidding). This was perhaps the most bizarre moment of my life, and the entire lesson itself was pretty odd.

I went to London Metropolitan University which is not the most well-respected university in the country, in fact it tends to lurch from one scandal to the next. But the science facilities are incredible.

urine bottle

University Motto: Taking the piss figuratively and literally since 1848

The purpose of the urine was to test for Creatinine content, which can be used to gauge how much muscle you have in your body. You dilute the urine and then pour it into a centrifuge which then tells you how high your Creatinine levels are.

Very interesting stuff! It would have been amazing to have seen my levels but sadly I didn’t have a day’s worth of urine to hand. Luckily for me the lecturer allowed me to join someone else.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever asked someone if you can handle their urine but believe me it is a surprisingly awkward thing to ask. There isn’t any established etiquette for asking if you can share a guy’s piss with him. However there is also no established etiquette for refusing this request, so the poor stranger had no choice but to let me test his pee.

*sigh* “How much do you need?”

Message in a urine bottle

So why am I telling you this story? Partly because I enjoy telling it, but partly so that I can help you take action! If there is one lesson that you should take away from this story it’s that if you don’t ask you don’t get. I walked up to a guy I had never met before and managed to get access to his urine, name me one salesman who is that effective!

The second take away that I want you to get from this, is to always store and carry 24 hours worth of urine upon your person. You never know when it might just come in handy.

For more incredibly useful tips and life-stories please join my free facebook group Beer N Biceps

Do you have any crazy urine bottle related stories? If so, please do not post them in the comments, that would be pretty gross 🙂

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